A GUARD USHERS TEDDY into my office. I stare at Teddy for a bit and then I lecture, “Teddy, when I worked for your ex company, I had to work for your boy. You and your boy wanted to force me to work a field assignment, a field assignment that would have destroyed my career. You demoted me from my project manager job and replaced me with your boy, Matt. Matt had and has no idea of how to develop real-time software. I know how to develop real-time software. I discovered a problem and, after I finally managed to get the software people from the computer manufacturer in to fix their software, I got the job done. It took a while to get the software people in, since Matt had no idea what the problem was. The wasted time cost the project and the company a lot of money.”
Teddy sneers, “Jim, that would seem to be between you and Matt.”
“Teddy, Matt works for you. While Matt failed to address my problem, he also failed to address the problem that Tanya was supposedly developing the device specific software. Tanya later told several of us that she did not work on the device specific software, that all of the device specific software work was done by Henry. However, for some six months, Tanya was charging her time to Matt’s project. After six months of no work, for time charged, you promoted Tanya to project manager of a new project, maybe as a reward. Tanya was in no way qualified to be a project manager. Tanya lacked the usual time in grade to be qualified as a project manager and she also lacked the technical background to run her project. Tanya then hired people to staff her new project. The people that Tanya hired also lacked the usual time in grade to be qualified for their specialty and they also lacked the needed technical background, for their work title. As a result, Tanya’s project had to be rescued by qualified senior people, press ganged from other projects. The effect of the personnel transfers negatively impacted a lot of other company work. The senior people assigned to Tanya’s project were and are very unhappy. I later hired some of the senior people for a new company. As a result, I have had to issue a memo forbidding people to use synecdoche, when referring to Tanya. The ladies, here at my company, tell me that it’s believed that Tanya used the pussy whip on at least one member of management. I told the ladies, ‘I’m not afraid of the pussy whip.’ ‘Are you afraid of the pussy whip?’ The ladies told me that they were not afraid of the pussy whip. They also told me that, since your wife got herself a divorce lawyer, she’s no longer afraid of the pussy whip.”
Teddy sneers, “Keep yourself out of my personal affairs.”
“Fair enough, if you’ll keep your wife and her divorce lawyer out of the business affairs of my company.”
“Yes, I’m in some trouble. However, I still have a lot of power in this town. You might keep that in mind, in case you ever have to look for another job.”
“Teddy, while you were playing political games, I was speculating in the stock market. I took a lot of chances that did work out. I now don’t need to have a paycheck to support myself.”
Teddy studies me for a bit.
I lecture, “For real. Teddy, you claimed to have developed a product that your company sold. There was another guy, who worked for your ex company, who also claimed to have developed the same product that your company sold. The other guy was forced out of your company. Then, when the product, that you claimed to have developed, didn’t work in a specific environment, the government claims that you tried to fake test results. The government broke down your project manager and he confessed that he faked the test results at your order. The government then retested the product that you claimed to have developed and the tests failed. The government then brought in the other guy, who also claimed to have developed the same product and the other guy made some changes to the product. The government then again tested the revised product that you claimed to have developed and the tests passed. The government then sued you and your ex company for fraud. The government got a conviction and assessed your company a multi-million dollar fine. My company then bought your former company and you’re personally on the hook for millions of dollars. That’s why your wife is divorcing you.”
“What was I supposed to do?”
“For one thing, you should have hired qualified Project Managers.”
“I’ll hire whoever I want.”
“Not any more you won’t. From what they tell me, Matt can’t even get back on the field assignment base.”
“Who told you that?”
“Teddy, the system that was fielded, where you wanted to exile me, needed to be calibrated. A regression analysis was needed. The only one that you had on staff who could do the necessary regression analysis quit. The customer then hired me as a consultant. I went in, did the regression analysis and calibrated the equipment. It took me one day. When I stopped by the Command Head Quarters, they told me that they were anxious to get the calibration done, as Matt was on his way off the base, due to traffic tickets.”
